4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
