He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
