Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
