So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
