Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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