i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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