My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
