You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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