youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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