So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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