For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
