Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
