Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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