He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
