Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
