Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize