I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
