the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
The beer is more important than you right now.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize