I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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