elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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