I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
