i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
