if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize