Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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