Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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