i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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