dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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