I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
