sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
