You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
