Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My liver just had a heart attack.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
