I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
