white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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