So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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