Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
