I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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