their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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