the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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