hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
