I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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