yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
