The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
