She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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