hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
