I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
