I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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