Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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