Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
