Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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