Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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