Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
