Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
