Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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