You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
