Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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