So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
