i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
