Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
