That's intense
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize