I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize