I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
