4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
