In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
