then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
