i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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