the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
