put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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