It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
