do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
